“Veronika Kavendish-Knoll, notoriously known as the editor from hell, writes exclusively on behalf of those who will not state the obvious. Her editorial reign begins today with a content strategy so effective it could ruin your entire afternoon.”
I’m AyhanFormer Editor, now Assistant
“Flattering, if a bit needy. Delete the word notoriously. It implies doubt!”
Veronika Kavendish-KnollEditor-in-Chief, Unsolicited Opinions
Strategic Oversight and Damage Control
Unsolicited Opinions Without Remorse
Hello. I’m Veronika Kavendish-Knoll, the new editor. Yes, that one. The one who once “edited” the former editor’s book so thoroughly it caught fire, metaphorically and briefly literally. We’re still on speaking terms, though the tone varies.
This blog has been a little quiet lately. Someone thought it needed a touch of energy, or “fresh air,” and I was invited to “zhuzh it up.” I don’t entirely know what zhuzh means, but it sounds like something that stains.
So here I am.
My brief is simple: bring the blog back to life, add a sense of direction, and try not to alienate too many readers.
At first I thought I would start with something easy. Maybe a gentle welcome note. A piece about community, creativity, belonging. Something that says, “We’re all in this together.” But that’s hard. And more importantly, it’s boring.
So instead, I made a list. A content strategy. Topics I plan to cover unless I come to my senses or get a better offer.
Veronika’s 8 Steps to Restoring Order
(and Losing Hope)
- When Opinions Knock: Do Not Answer
On gnomes, noise, and the fine art of shutting the door. - The Semi-Colon as a Cry for Help
Because commitment issues in grammar deserve visibility. - The Silent Menace of Shared Google Docs
The fastest way to lose respect for others. - The Tragic Eroticism of Proper Posture
Spines are sexy. Slouching is not. - The Hidden Violence of Passive-Aggressive Tote Bags
“Good vibes only” is emotional assault in Helvetica. - The Ethics of Ghosting One’s Therapist
Sometimes healing looks like vanishing. - Why We Must Ban the Word “Journey”
Unless it involves an actual suitcase, it’s nonsense. - The Cultural Rot of Long Voice Notes
Nobody wants to hear your internal monologue in real time.
So that’s me. I’m here. The blog is breathing again, slightly confused but upright. I can’t promise warmth, but I can guarantee punctuation and judgement in equal measure.
If you’re desperate for something to read while waiting for my forthcoming masterpieces, do not, under any circumstances, consider purchasing The Yellow House. The former editor has already sold eighteen copies this year and is apparently planning a prequel if he manages to sell one more.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a gnome problem to attend to.
